


End of the Line

by The-Winter-Maximoff (kindersuprisefics)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Bucky is depressed, Did I Spell That Right?, I was listening to sad music, M/M, Post Civil War, Steve loves him and honestly has no other idea on how to help him, Suicide, a bit of smut but it's really short and not detailed, sorry for writing this, yeah I might be channeling something through this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:36:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6888268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindersuprisefics/pseuds/The-Winter-Maximoff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate route where Bucky decides to stay with Steve instead of go under again in Wakanda.</p>
<p>Peace doesn't last long for Steve and Bucky, but at least they'll always have each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End of the Line

He jolts up, covered in a cold sweat, chest so tight he almost feels like he can't breathe, gasping desperately, ears ringing. 

“Buck? Bucky! Wake up!” 

Strong arms envelope him and he starts to thrash until his mind clears. Bucky looks behind him, eyes wide and full of tears. 

“Steve?”

Steve doesn't let go of him, holding him tighter as he feels Bucky finally relax in his arms. He looks so worried, Bucky is instantly filled with regret. He wants to cry so badly, Steve sees this and presses a kiss comfortingly to Buck’s forehead. 

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed, hiding his face in Steve’s chest as sobs wracked through his whole body, slightly shaking the bed.   
Steve holds onto him, trying to gently rock him, on hand rubbing circles into his back. 

“It's okay, baby. It's not your fault.”

“Why doesn't it stop? I just want to forget!” 

Steves heart shatters upon hearing how sad and broken Bucky sounds, it makes him wish he could somehow go back and keep his poor Bucky from ever having to suffer like this. He bites his lip to keep from letting his own tears fall. 

“It's gonna be okay. You're going to get through this, I promise.” 

 

The night continues with Bucky crying for hours, Steve doesn't let go of him the entire time. Even after he finally falls asleep Steves still up with him in his arms. Haunted by the sounds of broken sobs. 

What if he can't help Bucky? 

What if these nightmares never stop?

Steve was so confident the first night he brought Bucky to their new home. After everything that had happened, he thought they could conquer any obstacle.   
But that was over six months ago. Six months since the first night he had woken up like this. Six months since the first night he had to hold Bucky through this endless nightmare. 

 

And they haven't stopped since. 

 

The next day is painfully quiet. 

Neither of them know what to say. Steve glances over at Bucky as they eat breakfast.   
He looks so tired, his eyes looked dark and empty inside, skin pale and clammy, hair even messier that usual. He looked sick, and as much as it pained Steve to realize it, Bucky was sick. He was hurting and he needed help. 

He could try taking him back to Wakanda, knowing well that T’challa’s offer still stood. But Bucky had made it clear that he didn't want to go under again. They were both desperate to stay with each other at this point. After everything they'd gone through it would be too painful to separate again. 

“Steve?” 

Steve’s suddenly pulled from his thoughts, Bucky is looking at him curiously, uncertainly. 

“Sorry, Buck.” He says sheepishly, hoping he wasn't staring at him for too long. 

“I was just thinking.” 

“About what?” 

“About you.”

After breakfast they go out to pick up some things at the market. 

It's a secluded town, not too many people, not much media. It was a good place to lay low, a town where anyone could go to start over and no one would bat an eye at them about it. 

Steve pushes the cart, looking up and down the isles for something. Bucky stays close to him, avoiding eye contact with anyone, eyes locked on the floor. He wouldn't even look at Steve. 

Steve throws something in the basket and they move on the another area. 

Steves loading some more things in the cart when he looks over to an empty space and his heart skips a beat, looking around frantically for Bucky. 

“Bucky?!” Panic sets in as he looks around, on the verge of tearing the whole market apart just to find him. 

“Steve?” Comes Buckys soft quiet voice. 

Steve turns at the sound and he's instantly filled with relief, pulling Bucky into his arms. 

“Sorry…I just wanted to buy some.” He apologizes. Steve looks down at him and he finally notices a small bag of plums in Bucky’s hand. He sighs. 

“It's okay, just don't leave like that.” He says, still worried, “let me know first” 

Bucky nods and follows Steve back to the cart. He understands why Steve was so scared, he would be scared too if Steve suddenly wasn't there. 

 

 

Skin against skin. It was a beautiful noise when it was like this. 

Steve’s hands in Bucky’s hair, their bodies moving in sync with one another. Pure bliss was the only way they could describe the feeling. Bucky practically cries out Steve’s name with every thrust, his hand clawing at Steve’s back as he was drawn more and more over the edge.   
Steve kisses him passionately, wanting this moment to last forever. The feeling of being inside the love of his life was exhilarating, he loved memorizing every beautiful expression Bucky made as he filled him. 

It's a moment like this that Steve forgets where they are and everything they've been through. 

They're in 1940, there was no war and they're both living their lives, growing old together. 

 

But it's later into the night where everything comes back again. 

He's Captian America, holding onto the Winter Soldier, fearing that he would disappear forever. 

 

Peace isn't something that lasts long for Steve and Bucky.

 

 

 

It's three more weeks into this when Steve finally finds Bucky behind the locked bathroom door. 

He can hear him crying his heart out. 

Steve’s so scared his ears are ringing from panic. 

 

“Buck?” 

There's no reply but the sound of crying. 

“Come on Bucky, please open the door.” 

Steve presses his forehead against the door, there's tears running down his face now. If he wasn't trying so desperately to get Bucky to come out he'd be crying too. 

“It's me, Buck, it's your Steve. Let me see you, baby.” 

 

“I'm tired Steve.” Comes Buckys pained reply, “I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry” 

Steve has to hold back a sob. 

His hearts breaking all over again.

“Bucky please.” He begs, he's so scared. 

“You're all I've got left, Bucky.” 

“You have your other friends, Steve. You don't need me anymore. You can move on.” 

“No, I can't. I love you.” 

There's a silence again. 

“After I woke up, I was all alone. But then I found out Peggy was alive, and that gave me something to hold on for, even if it was only for a while.” 

He can hear that Buckys sobs were calming down. 

“And then once I found out you were alive, just hearing your name was like I was that kid from Brooklyn all over again.” 

“Oh Steve.” 

“I need you Bucky, I don't want to live another day without you. I've already lost Peggy, I can't imagine loosing you too, baby.” 

He hears the door unlock and suddenly it opens.   
Bucky was sitting against the door too. Eyes red and full of tears that ran down his face. A gun was on the ground next to him, one they kept for “just in case” situations. He looked so tired and sad, Steve automatically takes him into his arms and next thing he knows their both sobbing against each other, bodies shaking violently. 

“Please Stevie….it hurts so much.” 

“I know baby, I'm so sorry.” 

“I don't know what to do.” 

Steve can stand the thought of keeping Bucky in world where he's in so much despair. And in just the thought of it, something in his mind snaps. 

“You don't have to go out alone.” 

Bucky stares at him, there's a long silent pause between them.

“S-Steve?” 

Steve smiles, he looks almost as tired as Bucky. 

“I'm with you till the end of the line, remember.” 

Buckys eyes follow Steves hand as he reaches for the gun. It all clicks together now. 

“Steve…I can't ask this of you.” 

“It's okay Bucky.” 

Steve kisses him gently. 

“It's been a pretty long ride for the both of us.” 

Bucky puts his hand over Steves.

“How about we both go see what ol’ Peggy and Howard are up to?” 

They both smile at each other. This time differently. 

It was a smile neither of them had seen since 1946.

 

Bucky presses his forehead against Steves. 

“Thank you Steve.” 

 

“I love you Bucky.”


End file.
